Tag: Foster

Why do so many foster children need to be the youngest in the house hold? Is it a deal breaker?

Question by Erica: Why do so many foster children need to be the youngest in the house hold? Is it a deal breaker?
Over the past seven years my father and step-mother have adopted four children. I would like to grow my family the same way, only I already have a toddler of my own and I plan on having at least one more baby. Many of the children’s descriptions on photo-listing sites state that the child should be the youngest in the house-hold. Why is this? And is it a “deal breaker” or could I still be concidered?
Sorry, what I should have said is that the descriptions state that the child should be the youngest child OR only child in the home.

Is it possible that such a statement means that the child is harmful towards younger siblings?

Best answer:

Answer by Md8kn
in my view i think it is for the support and nurturing which older siblings can provide for the younger ones in the family…it should be remembered i feel that many if not the majority of children up for fostering or adoption are in this position due to a family crisis or problem which may have left them physically, emotionally or phychologically marked, also they may themselves be only children. Also the considered needs of the parents ability to meet the care needs of a larger family is looked at for the same reasons. I would think though that unless the child information states it the options are open because there are so many older children who desperatly need this support also so i would not prosume you would be excluded at all ….. hope this helped and good luck with such a worthwhile and rewarding venture.

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Q&A: could you foster to adopt in a state that you don’t live in? Like if i live in Fl could i foster to adopt n TX?

Question by Kalen M: could you foster to adopt in a state that you don’t live in? Like if i live in Fl could i foster to adopt n TX?
And could someone give me more information on foster to adopt?
Like could you pick your own child? Or will you be given one?
Addtional info please

Best answer:

Answer by Moose
A good place to start investigating adoption is Adoption.com – see link below. They are a decent place for information, to the best of my knowledge, and should be able to give you a rundown on different state laws. They also have a photo listing of available children.

Good luck.

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Q&A: What do you do at an “information session” for foster care?

Question by amyhpete: What do you do at an “information session” for foster care?
Look. I know the drill of foster care. My birth mom and her husband adopted four kids from foster care, years after I was gone and at the time she had cleaned up from drugs. She didn’t have children during her years of drug use in California, and Iowa didn’t care when she came back here, apparently. Their record, obviously, was okay to adopt, and they did and they did great. Also, when I was a kid, my parents, who were guidance counselors, had foster children in our home.

I *get the concept* of foster care. I am very willing to take the classes. I already know I want to do it, along with my husband. I will take the classes, do the home study, and every single other hoop to jump through. I know what I’m doing, because I’ve seen it done.

Can’t they give a knowledge test so you can get out of the meeting in another city just to foster to adopt?

I don’t want to wait for a match with some random child they send us, who might not fit our family.

I want this child! She would be amazing in our family! I was adopted and I have always wanted to give to a child in this way!


I have 14 years of experience with IEPs with my other children. I get signed up on KidsNet, and they’re wanting me to go with my husband to this informational meeting. I ask them to send me the agenda and a summary of the materials in advance so I can tell them I already know everything and they decline.

It is so frustrating. Yes, I get that it’s just one day out of our lives, and yes, I’m willing to give that for Lizzie. I wish we could do the home study first. That way, if they don’t feel we’re the right family for Lizzie, I can tell them fine and forget the whole thing, until I see another kid on Iowa Kids Net that might fit our family. But it would be months for me to get over being rejected by Lizzie or her caseworker..

I wish they would do the home study and say either a) yes, we might be a possible match for Lizzie and can go forward; or b) they hate us and would never send Lizzie to us and we should fuck off.

At least I would know. Is that so much to ask???
I should have said “14 years of experience with IEPs with my other *child*” I have one special education child, D, who is now a 19 year old adult. I would want to get him a studio apartment set up in our basement so he could have some of his own space and be away from the fray of our 9 year old son, B, and his new sister, Lizzie, playing together. It’s not that I have other special needs children to raise, really. D has high functioning autism, and I’m going to get him his own comic store, eventually, as comics and digital art are his thing, and it’s unlikely he could function at a different job.

My 16 year old daughter, C, is well on her way to ROTC at University of Iowa in 2 years, so while she’d be a wonderful role model to Lizzie and would love a younger sister, quite honestly, they won’t know each other that well. So the only big issue is whether Lizzie and B want to be brother and sister.

Best answer:

Answer by Dena K
No, I don’t think you “get” foster care or foster care adoption.

Yes, you do have to go to the information session. And contrary to what you might think, you probably do not know everything. You obviously don’t know that you shouldn’t tell the social workers that they should send you the agenda in advance and then you cam tell them you know everything. Do you realize how exceedingly arrogant that probably sounded to them? Who are you to them? They don’t know you. All they know is that you are some person who thinks you can just skip over the rules and regulations. Sorry, but for someone who says that she is willing to jump through all the hoops, you don’t act as if you want to jump through all the hoops. It sounds as if you only want to jump through the ones *you* want to jump through.

And as for Lizzie, how do you know she will be amazing in your family. How do you know that your family will be amazing for Lizzie. All you know is the little blurb that the agency puts on the photo listing to get attention. Trust me, you don’t even know the half of who and what Lizzie is. They don’t put ALL the behaviors of the child on those listings. These listings are teasers.

Lastly, you won’t be matched with some random child. That isn’t how adoption from foster care works. If you go to the information session, you would probably find out how it actually does work.

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Q&A: Facts about foster children?

Question by : Facts about foster children?
ok can you give me some info for relitives on things about foster children like what they would ask you.
also if you live in 1 state and a foster children that seems right for you is in a diffrent state can you still be their fost parent?
by state to state i mean like massachusets and new hampshire
also how much does it cost to adopt?

Best answer:

Answer by Kristi Howard
Your second question is easier, so I’ll answer it first.

YES, you CAN adopt a child that seems like a match from another state, but most states will frown on that idea until you exhaust a certain amount of time waiting for a match in your state.

BE VERY WARY of photolistings from other states. I KNOW how hard that is. But the sad reality is that most of the children you see on photolistings are considered the hardest children to place…having gone through multiple placements or have lots of trauma or abuse that need better qualified parents that the state hasn’t found for them, hence trying a photo listing to give a home for those children.

Your first question…it’s kind of vague. Are you meaning that you want information to give to your relatives, like what they (social services) would ask them?

If that is the case, they’ll ask them all about you, and even if they feel you would make a good parent. They’ll ask if you have any criminal record you haven’t mentioned, how well you pay your bills, how invested you seem to be in having children.

Now, if you twist this question the other way I took it, dealing with the foster children’s relatives…well, I can only go by what brief experiences I have had with a quick email meeting with my kid’s aunt.

She basically was just thrilled to hear from us, wanted to know how the kids were doing, and gave addresses should the kids decide to write them, etc. There’s really not much you can do or ask in that situation.

I don’t have much experience in the “foster” side of things, because even though we were foster/adopt parents, our kids were placed with us as an adoptive placement, meaning that they were placed with us with the sole intention of adoption, and after the waiting period, we were legally allowed to adopt them.

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