Tag: looks

Q&A: how important are looks?

Question by almost human: how important are looks?
i just read someone talking about looking for children through photo listings. i know that i was “chosen” in a similar manner. from the beginning of the paper work until i arrived, all my parents had were two photos to go on.

i have a hard time grasping this. it seems rather barbaric, from my adoptee perspective. it makes me feel like a commodity, sold in a catalog.

i’d like to hear some convincing arguments for why this is an acceptable or adequate method of choosing who to adopt.

i am trying to form my opinions about creating families and how this is accomplished. i am really not, at this point, comfortable with the validity of the love at first photo sighting argument, nor do i know much about this practice.

whenever i have this euwww ick feeling, i try and understand it before rejecting it out of hand. welcome everyone’s insights
WHY i chose the best answer.

wow. adoption land is so confusing.

because i’m transracial and know how hard that is, i am all for racial matching whenever possible.

however, i also believe adoptive parents should have a higher calling than just wanting a replacement child for the one they couldn’t have and trying to choose a child that looks like they were naturally born.

i agree with monkeykitty’s analysis of why a photo is valuable

i agree with sly’s sadness over the children who get left behind because they aren’t photogenic

i finally chose Erin L’s because i think she had the healthiest, most decent attitude about the place of looks in adoption.

it still feels icky as an adoptee.

my preference for all adoptions (except newborns) would be for people to hang out with kids and get to know them as people prior to adoption. the barbaric part of adoption to me is how it is stranger to stranger, with the photo as possibly the only artifact of humanity.

Best answer:

Answer by Avery Cheyenne due Halloween!!!
I agree with you. If you want a child are looks really that important, same with disabilities? I mean you take your chances when you are pregnant so what is the difference when you adopt? You want a child and it shouldn’t matter. If I couldn’t have my own child then I wouldn’t care what my adopted child looks like or what disabilities they have!! A child is a child you love them for who they are not how they look.

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